


Arctic Anthem ch.1-2 First Snow

by transtomgirl



Category: Christmas Fantasy Adventure, Original Work
Genre: Christmas, Elves, F/F, Lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtomgirl/pseuds/transtomgirl
Summary: What's the point of being royalty if you can never go home again? That's why Kris fled to the other side of the Earth. But when your history is everyone else's mythology,the past has a way of catching up. Can the girl prince save her homeland? More importantly, can she save Christmas?





	Arctic Anthem ch.1-2 First Snow

**Author's Note:**

> The first two chapters of my Arctic adventure novel, because many readers prefer short posts. Rated mature because of the overall dark tone,but maybe on the far end of teen. Feedback! I require sustinance!

"Oh Arctica,my kingdom amid the snow"! I  
"Oh Winter Lady born from good cheer and great courage,my love for thee is as eternal as the ice"!  
"As the polar bears dare and the reindeer fly,we reach for the sky".  
"For It is better to give,but this call we receive;Polarian,Elf and Gnome".  
"To guide noble spirits towards the Auroran Lights,a signal of prosperity,hope and home".  
"We lead from atop the world;wrapped warmly in green and red,flanked by black and white, as we guard the tree of knowledge and the gifts of Kringle."  
The Arctican national anthem. Since its never heard outside the Shelf,it is sometimes referred to as "The Silent Song" or "The Secret Song". "Polarian" was the final term for an Arctic born human,with "Kringle" and simply "human" being used before that. The so-called True Elves have banned every version of the anthem,uttering even one line is punishable by death.

Prologue  
Sometimes,Kris actually missed the snow. Rediculous really. Growing up,she saw more white powder then a snowboarding penguin. The girl prince even started to believe that's all she'd ever see,frozen plains stretching into eternity. But now Kris was laying on a Hawaii beach,her red hair and ginger features wrapped in an aloha shirt plus cap combo, looking at the horizon as the tide tickles her toes. And yet somehow, she’s missing the snow. Its funny how one's birthplace can stay with them,often despite all efforts to the contrary. The Trade Winds kick up and the tide becomes more aggressive,tickling Kris's toes as memories threaten to drown the errant royal.  
A proud Prince,decked out in red and green. But there is no feast hall,no castle,and no nutcrackers. There is only desolate snow and a single pine tree. The tree is brightly decorated,red ornaments and gold tinsel. There's even a gold star at the top. It's a bit ostentatious,and the star is about to fall. The girl prince moves to adjust the decorations, when she notices the ground beneath her feet is wet. To her horror, it's not melted ice that moistens the snowy ground. It's blood. Suddenly,the tree is bleeding from every root and branch. Still,the girl prince does not cry out. She doesn't yell, but remains disciplined. Her poise doesn't yield, until a chilling sound is brought by the icy wind. It's children screaming. It's the sound of last breathes and children screaming. Kris yields,a poised prince no longer. She can only join them.

Chapter 1  
As the memories recede,Kris realizes its not the tide tickling her toes. Its Jill. She had dozed off again. As per usual,Jill had woken her with a laugh and gentle fingers. Gentle,and a bit mischievious.  
Very mischievous, actually. After all,it wasn't the psychologist who had caused the nightmares to abate. Not entirely,at any rate. There had been a secret ingredient added to the mix. Jill tickled up Kris's pale legs and then unfastened the button to her Jean shorts. Then Jill's tongue found the pink fields underneath. Screams became moans of a deeper,more musical variety. No more bleak winter or bleeding trees. The world was remade by Jill's love. She was a Jewish goddess dressed for softball and playing upon the familiar grass of her favorite field. Waves crash, moans erupt,as the waves of passion run their course.  
"So this is your new thinking beach,huh"?,she asked as the ginger prince tried to preserve her dignity and stifle a giggle. As always,resisting Jill is to no avail. The prince giggles like a 14-year old school girl,Jill congragulates herself by lighting a menthol,magically produced from a faded sports jersey. Pale green crystals ignite as smoke dances through the mint green streak in her otherwise raven black hair.  
"The old one got conquered by frat boys,not much thinking going on there now",came the sleepy reply.  
"I imagine not,but I like this one better anyway". "The other one was too breezy,couldn't ever spark a light".  
"A fair point",Kris conceded, reaching for her own pack of smooth blend. "How was improv"?  
"Good". "I got cast as a squirrel for most of it though".  
"Well I'm sure you were a very sexy squirrel",the prince said with a kiss. Jill leans in,and Kris can't tell beaches from blizzards for a few blissful moments. She just drifts with Jill,suspended in time and space.  
"So what was today's philosophical query"?,Jill asks with a mixture of curiousity and dry wit.  
"A question of environment,I guess".  
"Ah,man vs. nature",she opines in a faux British accent. "Truly,a question for the ages".  
Sinking back into her usual cadence,Jill follows up in the wake of her lover's pensive silence. "Who won the bout"?  
Kris focused more intently, watching smoke seek the water. "I think nature always wins that fight,its just a question of how many rounds it takes".  
"Joe Fraizer can send us the scorecard,Gingerbread". "Let's head home,I ordered take out from that place with the cute delivery girl you'll probably leave me for".  
"Your the one who has a crush on that delivery girl,that's why you keep trying to set me up with her".  
Jill smiles slyly. "I feel like my style of flirtation would scare her off,but if I was your innoccent wing woman..."  
"Your clearly the Maverick of that anology". "Just warn this Goose before the engine goes out on our hopes of free hot wings".  
Jill lets out a mischievious giggle of her own,"fair enough". "You ready to fly"?  
"With you,always". They bail on the beach,and the lost prince forgets her worries amid hot sauce,cheap beer and the usual argument about who was really flirting with the delivery girl.

Kris wakes up to a Jewish valkyrie screaming at the television. Its the most comforting sound on Earth,so far as she was concerned. Granted,the neighbors didn't always agree.  
"Three fucking rounds"! "I paid good money to watch assholes slap each other for the time it takes me to shit out hot wings". "I never made as much per season as those fuckers make for one fight". She falls back into faux British. "Disgrace I say"!  
"That's not true,Lemon Drop. Shitting out these hot wings takes longer then three rounds of boxing". Kris chuckles,and lights Jill a smoke. She relaxes,plopping down next to her prince with a resigned thud.  
"Its just that we could have done something romanticle with that money,now that I think about it". "There's only so much of our permanent off season nesdaq,I want us to enjoy it".  
The "permanent off season". That's how Jill kept referring to her early retirement from baseball. It had been sweaty work,but she loved it. She had even started making some pretty serious Yen in Tokyo,before her knee got slammed. An advertising deal had paid for a vacation to Hawaii that sorta became a move when she met a Polarian tomboy who was just trying to get away from anything that reminded her of the past. She chimed reassuringly,”You don't have to woe me,Jill". "I'd even go so far as to say that I like like you".  
"We're that serious"?,she chuckles. "Because I don't know if I can handle a heavy commitment".  
"Figures,way you were eying the delivery girl",Kris bemoans playfully.  
They share a laugh and then Jill gets pensive.  
"So that question of environment,does it involve where your from"?  
"Yeah".  
"Any chance you could finally tell me where that is"?  
"Already told you all I could,a very cold place,not like here".  
"What,like Canada"?  
She never failed to make Kris laugh. "No,colder then that". "The place I'm from,its gone Lemon Drop". "It just doesn't exist anymore". "I don't want the ghost of a place to haunt what we have here".  
"Its just that we have no secrets".  
"Save one". "But hey,we still have it all over most couples".  
Jill chuckled. “You may not have been born here,but your Hawaiian through and through,always trying to keep it casual”.  
“Aloha”, said the Prince as she dove for a kiss.  
Jill accepted the kiss with zest, before going quiet for a moment.  
“I never know if your saying hello or goodbye”. “I never know if this kiss was the last one”.  
Kris kissed her again. “It’ll never be the last one”.  
“It almost was”! “When I found you last Christmas…” her voice trailed off amid memories of a crimson trail leading to a lovingly decorated Christmas tree.  
“I was fucked in the head,Lemon Drop”. “I got the holiday blues,but that is not on you”.Kris wiped Jill’s eyes gently”. “I’m always saying hello to you,but I've had to say goodbye to a whole world”. “I keep that world behind me,so that I can focus on holding you”. They hugged for many long moments,like tethering to a dream.  
As pensive a puff of menthol as ever woman took later," "I just hope you trust me".,the ballplayer sighed and exhaled as her calm returned.  
"I'm the one with a secret,but you gotta trust me Jill". "There's no good that can come from drugging up the past".  
"Alright,but I am going to start pesturing you about the future"  
"That I can handle". Before Jill can respond,the doorbell rings.  
"We're just pausing",Jill remarks and grabs the door.  
It's their favorite delivery girl,hazel hair tied in a hasty ponytail under her corporate logo imprinted cap.  
“Hey ladies,turns out you were owed another box on that coupon, didn't want you to think I was screwing you”.  
Kris and Jill share a giggle. “Never crossed our minds Hazel”. The Prince said,taking the lead.  
“It's Hannah,but you can call me Hazel”. “I never liked Hannah,to tell ya the truth”.  
“Is there anything else you were asked to like but didn't”? Jill asked.  
“Or maybe something you liked,but were told not to”. Kris chimed.  
“Yes actually”! “I love to surf,but my boyfriend says it's too dangerous”. “I intend to surf anyway,he can just deal”.  
Kris and Jill sighed in unison. “Good for you,follow your bliss”. Kris said,managing to hide her disappointment,mostly.  
“Athletics brought me allot of joy amid the sprains”. Jill put in.  
Kriss takes the box,and the delivery girl,bounces off with pep.  
“Thanks for encouraging me to try something bold”!  
“Well that was certainly our intent”. Jill took a quick puff of her menthol.  
“You ride those waves”! Kriss called out, shutting the door.  
The couple explodes in laughter, nearly choking on the smoke that danced around them. They didn't notice a second delivery of a much heavier parcel. It's carrier was defeated, resolving to try again later. A vigilant observer might have spotted pointed ears under their cap.  
Chapter 2  
Kris’s next dream is also a memory,but a far more pleasant one. She's eating at a Hawaiian dinner,all beach chic. Her face is covered in wing sauce,not that she even noticed before Jill walked up like the Belle of the beach bar,dressed in a blue flower bedecked shirt and sunglasses.  
“Need a napkin miss...? She asked,offering one up.  
“It’s Kris, actually”. “Why would I need a napkin”?  
“Because your covered in wing sauce”. Jill suggested carefully.  
And what if I like being covered in wing sauce”? Kris responded stubbornly.  
“Then let me buy you more wings”,Jill said, without missing a beat.  
Kris thought for a moment. “Alright,you’ve swayed me”.  
Jill chuckled. “Glad to hear it. Where are you from”?  
Kris tenses. “Someplace cold”. There was silence as wings were ordered,and for a while after that”.  
Tentatively,Jill put a hand on her shoulder. “You never have to be cold in Hawaii,Kris”.  
Kris awoke to her dream girl warming up left overs in the kitchen.  
“How's my sleeping beauty”? Jill inquired.  
“More rested then I’ve been in ages,ready to smoke half a pack”.  
Jill smiled,tossing her ginger love a smoke. “Your in such a good mood, maybe I can get away with mentioning how my mother is insisting that I bring you this Christmas”. “I’m all out of excuses, Gingerbread.  
Kris exhales. “I guess I always have trouble digging into your past, knowing that mine is our one secret”.  
“There's an easy way to solve that,you know”,Jill plopped down at the table.  
“No,there really isn't”. Kris inhaled deeply.  
“Come on Kris,how bad can it be”? “Were you in the mob”? “Do lesbians have a mob, and if so,why wasn't I invited”?  
Kris chuckled. The chime of the doorbell seemed to emphasize her laughter,like it was singing backup.  
“We can't possibly be owed another wing box”,Jill mused.  
“Anything's possible when you believe Jill”,the ginger prince responded with her best Orphan Annie.  
“Gingerbread,you have an addiction problem”.  
“Impossible,I'm just not the type”,Kris exhaled smoke as she protested, grabbing the door.  
“Who is it”? Jill asked.  
Kris held up a package wrapped in red snowman paper and tied with an emerald green bow. She just managed to suppress the shake in her hands.  
“Not who,what”.  
It was Jill’s turn to laugh. “That present is about a month early”. “Who's it from”?  
“Doesn't say,but it's addressed to both of us”.  
“Quite the mystery,Jill opined in faux British mode. “Shall we solve it”?  
Kris sighed. “Maybe we should”.  
Jill needed no further encouragement, grabbing the box like an excited child.  
“What”? Jill asked to Kris's look of surprise. “No time like the present...for a present”.  
Kris exhaled deeply,smoke drifting through the apartment like an errant cloud. “My father would disagree,but I was always the rebel of the family”.  
Suddenly,Jill paused. “That's the first time you've talked about your family”. “I wanna know you,Kris”. “I wanna know everything about you,with all my heart”. She set the package down on the table. “But I won't force it”.  
They sat in silence for a moment. Kris ended the silence. “It's addressed to both of us, let's open it together”.  
“Ok”,Jill breathed. They each approached the present like a buried treasure, and slowly began their excavation. Bright paper and pieces of bow were chisled off, falling to the floor.  
The present was the world. Or rather,the world as Kris had once known it. The snow globe had a complete model of a gingerbread bakery,along with elves and reindeer in aprons. A Christmas angel was nearest the o en,flanked by an elf and a modern snowboarder. All three girls smiled broadly.

Kris gasped and the memories came in a torrent.  
A snow globe had sat on the window sill,next to the oven. Mother had promised,so two insistent little girls were  
getting their wish. That wish involving copious amounts of gingerbread cookies.  
Mother's bright red hair looked so radiant,not tangled like her daughter's. Kris had always wandered how she pulled that off. It didn't seem like mother was ever trying to look regal. She simply was, natural as breathing. Her green dress covered in a gingerbread apron,she set about teaching both Kris and Aurora how to measure for baking. Aurora poured carefully, pausing to regard the Queen. “I'm wearing a green dress today,just like you”!  
“And you look beautiful, Aurora”. The regal Genevra remarked. “I think it looks much better on you then me”. The elven princess beamed. “Doesn't Aurora look nice,Kris”?  
“Uh huh”,Kris said it through mouthfuls of chocolate chips,her face smeared with sugary sauce.  
“Kris,we aren't even making chocolate chip cookies”,The Queen admonished.  
“Oh”. The girl prince paused. “What are we making”?  
“Gingerbread men silly”! Aurora chimed.  
Kris shrugged. “Do you wanna add chocolate chips”? She extended the bag.  
“That's not exactly in the recipe, mother replied.  
Aurora was ever the little helper. “Maybe we could change the recipe,like when we make ginger elves and ginger girls”.  
“I suppose we could” Genevra sighed. “Kris,wash your face please”. Suddenly,Genevra coughed,heaving and dry.  
“Miss Clause”! Aurora exclaimed.  
“Mom,are you ok”? Kris was worried.  
The Queen was all confidence. “Of course children, don't make a fuss”. “We have baking to do”! Smiles resumed,tears being so many years away.  
“Kris,you ok”? Jill pulled her girl from the past.  
“Yeah, it's just a bit stunning”.  
“I'll say”,Jill whistled. This looks like an expensive custom job,very fancy”. “Do you know who it's from”?  
“I can guess”,Kris said with a smile.  
“Well let's find a place to display this before we turn in”. “You can tell me all about it tomorrow”.  
“Sounds good”,Kris replied. “Can we order hot wings again tomorrow”?  
Jill chuckled. “If your a good girl”.  
Kris smiled wryily,going for a kiss,”Do I have to be good the whole night”?

Its not the couple's favorite hot wing delivery girl,but it is a stunningly attractive woman. Blonde hair and blue eyes,hourglass figure. Basically,the kind of woman that pisses other girls off just by existing. The kind they claim can't be human. The kind that the phrase,"land mermaid" was invented to describe. Well,they're right about the first bit,and not far off with the second,at least in this case. She's an elf. The red\green hoodie hides her pointed ears,but even if Kris didn't already know her,you cant fool a Polarian brat,not when it comes to detecting Elven grace. They're rather dedicated to that course of study. Besides,they would have tagged this one as mythical at the airport,but for the paradox that won't allow normal humans to acknowlege the existence of such a being.  
She smiles nervously,"Hey Kris”.  
“Aloha” responded the Prince nervously,visions of an angry girlfriend already dancing in her head.  
“So I was in the area,just decided to drop by”.  
"I find that unlikely,but you better come aside",Kris said quickly but with no creulty.  
Jill lights another smoke. "Kris,what's your friend's name"? "My girl keeps her cool",thought Kris. All things considered,Jill was the picture of calm. Elves can be intimidating if your one of us poor sap humans,what with our tendency to have,you know,flaws.  
"Her name's Aurora,she's an old buddy from my days in the Red Cross".,Kris shut the door and locked it.  
"Oh really,that's cool". "Where were you guys sent"? Jill's air is casual,least as much as it can be.  
Aurora sits with the dignified air of an heir,not to put too fine a point on it. "We stayed near the usual stomping grounds actually". "Our home was in crisis". The elf gives Kris a stern look,"It still is".  
Jill takes a puff or five. "Alright kids,your gonna have to give up the secret here,if people from Wherever-the-Fuck are gonna be stopping by this apartment.  
Aurora stands,haughty and stern. "How dare you"! Ever the diplomat,the elf stops herself pre-tirade,resuming calm on a dime. "Forgive me,Miss Jill for barging into your home like this". "However, you must understand that our homeland is a sacred and special place,". "It most certainly is not just wherever-the fuck".  
"I made up that name because you've given me nothing else to call it." Jill crosses her arms,but keeps smoking. "I wanna know where this place is,and don't tell me its Canada". "I already know its not Canada". "And how do you know my name"?  
The elf adopts a scholarly tone. "I'm quite fascinated by this social media that I heard so much about". "Frankly,its like we know each other already".  
"I don't appreciate being cyber stalked by a stranger who's probably my girlfriend's ex"!  
"You misunderstand. I'm his ex fiance. We're practically family".  
Jill couldn't be more deadpan. "I feel so much better".  
An excited Aurora shows off her internet profile. She has 2,000 friends,and its maybe a month old. "Its a great way to keep in touch with your subjects".  
Jill scoffs. "You do mean friends,right"?  
"Yes,of course",the elf agrees hastily.  
"So you two almost got married"?  
"It was political lemon drop",Kris is quick to point out. Maybe too quick for a certain pointy eared visitor,who's eyes go crestfallen for a brief moment. The prince doesn't notice so focused is she on her favorite softball player.  
Finally, Kris just drops the big one,with a heavy sigh. "I'm from the Arctic Jill". "She's an elf,and she's here because my dad is...was Santa Clause".  
Aurora tries to interject,but it comes out a whisper."That's not why I..."  
Jill is understandably surprised. Kris could tell,because she stopped smoking for a second. She shotguns two beers before anyone speaks again. Aurora breaks the silence with a diplomatic request.  
"Can I have one of those"?  
Jill grabs a beer. "Can I see the ears"?  
Aurora drops the hoodie,and there they are. Pointed and elegant. Jill yanks hard on the left one.  
"Ouch"!,"That hurts"! exclaims the elf.  
"Sorry,I had to be sure". Jill apoligizes by handing Aurora the beer.  
Elf and athlete sip beer. Not knowing what else to do,kris pops open a brew and join them. Its Jill who breaks the silence,as always.  
"So I guess we'll have to celebrate Christmas and Hanukah".  
Pointed ears perk up. "I think a joint celebration could be very charming". "Imagine everything you could do in terms of decorating".  
For the lost prince,this was surreal. Kris wasn't duplicitous, but she had made certain life decisions based on the assumption that these two women would never be in the same hemisphere,let alone the same room. There's an old saying about assumptions.  
Elf and ballplayer talk for an hour before Jill asks the big questions.  
So your dad passed away"?  
"About three years ago",Kris said quietly. "It was political revolution. The elves felt it was time to fight the power,so they killed a portly old man along with his entire family". "While they were at it,they made sure not to leave a single man, woman or child that wasn't in a cancer black robe alive". "They didn't want the players to think elves were soft".  
Aurora is gentle in her correction. "It wasn't all elves,and it wasn't the entire family".  
"Yeah well,that was certainly the intent".  
Jill is uncharacteristically solemn. "I'm sorry Kris".  
"It was years ago now",is all Kris can manage in response. She mumbles something about going for a drive,but passes out in the back seat of the car. Its probably for the best that Jill had taken the keys.  
Kris awoke to find Aurora in the driver’s seat. “We going somewhere”?  
“Back to the Arctic,If you don’t mind terribly” the elf's tone was polite as usual.  
“Uh,it’s a long drive and it’s cold there this time of year”.  
“It’s cold there every time of year”.  
“All the more reason to stay parked”.  
“That exactly what you've been doing for 3 years,staying parked”.  
“Maybe I like the view”.  
“You like the girl,a prime example of your fetish for Jewish Comediannes”.  
Kris lit her morning smoke. “I also have a fetish for Elven princesses,if that makes you feel better”.  
Aurora laughed,in spite of herself. That was Kris all over,a collection of bad habits sprinkled with charm.  
“Why didn’t you write,at the very least”? “Did you not miss me at all”?  
“I missed you every day I woke up,but writing would have just reminded me how much we'd lost,how much I missed everything and everyone else”. “You were always the one who had shit figured out,so I knew you’d be ok”.  
“I wasn’t ok,Kris”. “I was scared,heartbroken and alone”.  
“I’m sorry,but I wouldn’t have been much comfort”. “Aren’t you glad you dodged that wedding”? Kris tried to laugh,but a long silence ensued.  
“I like her,you know” said the elf fornlornly.  
“Jill”?  
“Yes,I find her quite fetching”. “I don’t even want to like her,but I do”.  
“She’s better then I deserve,but so are you”.  
“You’re still a cad”.  
“Of this I am keenly aware”.  
“Good,now come with me to get our home back”.  
“Even if I thought marching to war on the frozen plains was a good idea,I would crown you to lead our people”. “So lead them now,lead them away from bloodshed”. “They can be the first generation of Arcticans to die someplace warm”.  
The elf's face was tear stricken. “And towards what Kris”? “A life of hiding and shame”?  
“Better then no life at all”.  
“I don’t believe that,and neither did your father”.  
“Assuming I agree to this,do you have a plan”?  
“I’m forming one,and a team to go with it”.  
Kris took a long puff. “Alright well, I need my princely sleep if we’re going on a crusade”.  
They hugged and Aurora left the car with a big smile. Kris drifted off to sleep,wondering how in frozen hell the princess had won that argument.  
Chapter 2  
Kris awoke for a second time to find that the old sleigh was moving. This time,Jill was in the driver's seat. Aurora was riding shotgun. "magic hour" was setting in out the window.  
"Am I being kidnapped"? The prince asked.  
"Yes,but we got you a cheeseburger and a pack of smokes".  
"Its a most delightful abduction"! chimed the excited elf from the passenger side.  
"Sure,I'll go with it". Jill tosses Kris a messily wrapped burger with her trademark throwing arm. The smokes fly in right after. Kris inhales some of both,and leans back.  
"Do I get to know where we're going"?  
"Your Elven ex needs to meet her bodyguards at that club we like,which is a sentence I never thought I'd say".  
"Aurora,why would your bodyguard bail on you"? Kris asked through a mouthful of cheeseburger.  
"She didn't,it was per my instructions". "I didn't want you to feel intimidated".  
'You mean more then usual"?  
The elf doesn't skip a beat,"Yes,exactly"!  
The Palm Tree wasn't the most creative name for a Haiwaian club. Kris had often joked privately to herself that its companion up North would be called The Snow Drift. Moniker aside,the place was relaxed,and the drink specials were great. Two dollar wells by any other name,would get you just as buzzed. The club was larger then their apartment,but still had that dance joint feeling of claustrophobia. Despite the lights and electronica,it was hard for any member of the company to feel like dancing.  
Jill and Kris immediatly start scanning the bar for some kinda secret service looking suits,only to watch Aurora head right for a green dye job with a four leaf clover tattooed on her stomach,exposed by a black\green belly shirt. Next to that one woman Celt circle stood a grizzled old man wearing exactly the blue suit they'd expected to see, but with more lines etched in his face then a mountaintop,like erosion had been working on him for a long time. Flanking his other side was a chocolate skinned woman in khaki,head to toe. Two others were a bit more off to the side. A pair of blonde twins,each with the poise of a fashion model. They wore matching white dress shirts,but different color slacks and ties. Like newly born babes,the siblings denoted their gender with the color. The girl's was light pink,the boy's was an equally pale blue. They looked young enough to be in high school.  
Jill muttered under her breath,"Damn,Irish girl looks like Saint Patrick fucked a leprauchan".  
"While drinking green ale".,Kris responded. “And the other looks like mom was a kangaroo”. "But hey,the results are kinda cute". “Those other two sure got style, maybe we can talk tuxes”.  
"I refuse to turn green with jealousy,but nice try".  
Aurora escorts the party to a corner table and makes introductions like she was throwing a dinner party.  
"This is Ireland Kinkade and her partner Mason Cole,my bodyguards". “This is my wheelgirl, copter girl and wing girl, Australia Montgomery. “The other two are Hansel and Gretel Loveykin,my loyal squires you might say”. Valued subjects, meet Kris and Jill". Mason nods,his piercing blue eyes managing to look alert and weary at the same time. Australia tipped her Outback hat,a plume of smoke rising from her cigar.  
“If this was Europe,we'd be knighted by now” Hansel said with a smirk.  
“We'd also be able to order a drink” Gretel responded as she lite a fresh smoke. The siblings passed it between them.  
“I'm with the pouchlings on this one”, Australia threw in. “Yanks don't know when to put their foot on the gas”.  
“You exhaust them,much like you exhaust me”,Mason chuckled dryly.  
“Bet I could have you feeling young again,if you would just trust me with the stick,mate”. Australia blew out a smoke ring.  
“Not doubting your pilot skills, just aware of my own rust” Mason chuckled again.  
“Sorry my lovelies,but you’ll have to indulge the repressed Yanks while we're here”. Aurora reminded them,not for the first time.  
“Yank repression annoys us too,so you aren't alone there” Kris chimed.  
“Old enough for a smoke but not an ale”. Gretel threw up her hands. “It simply makes no sense”. “I can risk cancer,but not liver disease”?  
Hansel chuckled, taking his turn with the cig. “Americans have many bad habits,dear sister,but they do take great care in selecting how they will die”.  
“Dear brother,it's not reasonable to think that the Reaper takes requests”.  
Ireland shrugged. “Since when have the bloody Yanks ever been reasonable”? She then turned to Kris, mischief in her eyes.  
"So your my lovely's old beau,eh"? The lass puffs absently on a black clove. "Can't decide between the Elf or the Jew"? She extends her arms like she's balancing a scale. "Tough call I guess".  
“Bloody hell, Ireland, but you always insist on pouring the kerosene”, Australia smiled.  
Kris just casually ribs her right back. "I was hoping for a Jewish elf,but that's rare as a sober Irishman on Saint Patrick's Day".  
Ireland just laughs. "I like you Kris,your not half bad". "Let's get a buzz going,wake up in compromising positions".  
"We shouldn't drink too much when we're on a job",cautioned Mason as he slowly adjusted his tie again. But the aged suit was just in the wrong room for caution.  
Jill falls into her faux British. "sounds like a plan there Shamrock"! "One can't live on tea and crumpits"!  
"Kris you didn't tell me that this Hebrew siren made fun of the British".  
"We did just meet,despite our instant bond of fellowship". Kris deadpanned.  
"Too true ". Ireland slapped Kris on the playfully on the shoulder.  
“If your a Catholic,I'm a kanga” Muttered Australia from under her brim.  
“I'm the vision of Saint Mary,though I might just be willing to Sully myself with our Hebrew siren here”.  
"One shot at a time Shamrock",Jill said in her usual dry cadence,served with a splash of wit.  
"Well said Jill"! Aurora chimed in with glasses in hand.  
"What enchantment did you cast to get drinks that fast at happy hour'? Kris asks incredulously.  
"I didn't use any such magic". "I just told the boys at the bar that we were in a hurry,and they gave me their drinks". "It was very considerate of them".  
"That spell's older then I am",remarked Mason as he decided to give into peer pressure and order a beer for himself.  
"Magic is in the eye of the beholder,my lovlies"! Ireland slams a shot back and its actually an hour or two before the party stops, well,partying. Except for Mason,who seemed to make one beer last forever.  
But the old suit wasn't the only professional present. In full buzz,Aurora still manages to detail the reason for her journey into the tropics,the dance beat seems to surrender to her melodic voice.  
"As Kris can tell you,numerous Articans were displaced when the Screaming Night happened and the Clause line was betrayed by an Elven sect calling themselves the True Elves".  
"Why did they betray Santa Clause,of all people".  
"Because they're Elven Nazis,Lemon Drop",Kris's tone is just a little too serious to be sattirical.  
Aurora just nods in agreement. "Yes,they are much like the human Adolf Hittler. They believe elves are a superior race and that its the gravest of insults for them to have been lead by the descendants of a mortal toy maker".  
"So why'd they go out to the North Pole in the first place"?,asked Jill.  
"Historical precedent". "Long ago,elves chose to live isolated from humans,but discovery was inevitable". "Tribal elders decided to choose a human as a kind of diplomat monarch,someone who could present the elven community to mortals without instantly being percieved as a threat".  
Kris interjected. "My ancestor just stumbled into the job really". "Joseph Kringle was a daring explorer who had dreams of climbing every mountain,charting every dangerous place". "He also had a younger brother who followed him everywhere,seemingly with no great ambitions". "When left to his own devices,he made toys for sad children". "He also read every book he could find,that he might become a writer worthy to chronicle the grand adventures of his brother". "That was Nicholas,who would be crowned a King among toy makers".  
Aurora recites her next words as a litany. "Saint Nick's heart was true,a compass that lead him to choose the First Mortals of the Arctic,that human and elf might prosper as one".  
"Or the elves found Nick less threatening then brother Joe,and granted him human colonists to occupy his time,so that he'd mostly stay out of Elven affairs". "colonists who were exactly the kind of desperate people you'd expect to find treking towards a frozen wilderness,eager to live on candy canes and dreams".  
Aurora scowled at Kris's interpretation,but didn't comment. "The Toymaker King brokered a treaty between the Arctic Kingdom and the nations of the world. "The secrets of Elves and their Gnomish cousins were kept,in exchange for the gifts they gave humanity".  
"There are fucking Gnomes too"? "Who am I kiding"? "Of course there are fucking Gnomes". Jill gulped down a shot. "So what were the gifts"?  
Kris was almost proud as she answered. "North Pole tech,Lemon Drop". "From electricity to AC,the Arctic tech firm slowly gave humans the modern age,wrapped in bright paper and with a bow on it". Kris soured. "That is,until humans finally made the naughty list with the atomic bomb"'.  
Aurora's voice was solemn. "Diplomatic relations were hard to restablish after that". "No more presents,no more Christmas,so far as much of the world was concerned". "Humans might have invaded the Pole if war had not already ravaged them". "The Arctic Kingdom was content to vanish into obscurity until Kris's father opened up dialogues again".  
"Much good it did him". Kris downed a couple of shots.  
Aurora perserveres. "It was a resounding success,that's why the self-appointed True Elves was so extreme in their reaction". "I have exiled Articans eager to return home". "They don't belong here,and they know it". "They're Arcticans born,most of them". "Some Elves are so desperate to escape the new regime that they've risked violating treaties and moved to that place humans used to make the Tolkien movies,New Zealand".  
"Christ,how are they getting by"? Jill and Kris seem to ask in unison.  
"Surprisingly well". Apparently some mortals wear elf ears every day to show some kind of religious devotion". "Its good cover".  
Kris takes a breath. "So what are you suggesting"? Move everybody to NZ,maybe find an island chain without any people"?  
Aurora goes stern. "I'm not suggesting anything". "I'm taking our people home,all of them".  
Kris is calm,but wary. "The True Elves will have something to say about that".  
Lightning reflects in Aurora's eyes. "For three years,these pointed ears have heard nothing but the cries of our people". "I am deaf to the demands of tyrants".  
...  
Everyone else was back to partying,and Jill was attempting the "One for every palm tree challenge" when Aurora pulled up to a pensive Kris.  
"I know I came in like an arctic breeze,but I really need your help here".  
"I broke contact just as abruptly,so I can't throw snowballs there".  
"I wasn't exactly shocked to find you vacationing with a hot Jewish tomboy,or to find you had been helping Polarians through imigration".  
"I do what I can,but your right". "They don't belong here,and no amount of paperwork can change that".  
"And where do you belong,Kris"?  
"Never known,never will". "I love Jill,Aurora". Its not a where for me anymore,its a who".  
"We had that once".  
"I won't lie to you,I have my reservations about how our engagment was arranged". "Maybe I even resented you for it".  
"Was that all you felt"?  
"No,but who are we kidding"? "I'm a Kringle cad,and I would happily make myself the creme between you and Jill,best Oreo imaginable". "But my desire for that situation doesn't make it fair for either of you".  
"Everyone talks about Oreos here". "Are they some kind of divine relic"?  
Kris chuckled. "Yeah,pretty much". They were silent for a moment.  
"I suppose an elf can forgive an indulgant fantasy,if anyone can",Aurora remarked.  
"Thanks".  
"Can I count on you,for Arctica"?  
"I'm in,just need to drop Jill off before Jockroy".  
"Of course,the last thing I want is to be responsible for dragging that fetching woman out into the frozen wastes".  
"Fetching again,huh"?  
"I said I could forgive your indulgant fantasy". "But elves invented queerness,so I'm sure you'll forgive mine as well". The princess smiled.


End file.
